May 5

update: The Doctors office called and our ultrasound was “completely normal” πŸ™‚

We had our ultrasound last night and Frank is a girl! whoo-hooo! Of course this just proves many of Erich’s theories, namely the more convinced I am about something the more likely it’s the opposite. But I am no where near disappointed. I can’t wait to meet our little baby girl! Here’s the first pictures:

I think she looks like Erich already – she’s got his cheeks!

Here is some video of her moving around:

Apr 5

The news is out….

Posted by Mrs. M

Yep – finally. E and I can say that we will be pleased to welcome a new baby on September 25. I am 15 weeks along and so far all is well, with the peanut anyway.

The following post is the saga of how we got here if you are interested… I was just putting down all the stuff I couldn’t say in case this time went like all the others.


Apr 5

OK so Monday (Jan 18) my cycle was supposed to have started 2 days prior – I was getting impatient because this was going to be the month of testing testing testing with the new fertility doc (Dr Charles Miller). So I decide that in order to make myself calm down I would take a pregnancy test that morning, hoping to be reassured by the negative result.

Holy shit it was positive. >insert shock here<

I walked downstairs with the pee-stained stick in my hand to show E and to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t – he had about the same expression of shock on his face. But due to our history, this was no time to dilly-dally, so I got on the phone with the new Doc’s office, told them what had happened and they said to come in and they’ll confirm with a blood test. So along with the 8 vials of blood they pulled out (those were for my initial screening looking for any disorders I may already have – aside from mental ones), they pulled a pregnancy panel. When the nurse called me back that afternoon she said my hCG was at 530.5 and progesterone at 21.7. What? That’s the highest my hcg has ever been. what? Wait what is happening?

While I was at the Doc’s office they wrote me a prescription for oral progesterone supplements (not to be taken orally… eeew). They confirmed that twice a day I should take the progesterone and they will repeat the blood test on Thursday – and we’ll have an ultrasound next Thursday and every week till probably 10 weeks. What, wait a minute – I’m still reeling!! (Of course I may just be faint from all the blood they dragged out of me!)

update its January 21 and the second round of blood came back to hCG 2461 and progesterone 29.2! Holy cow! The hCG is supposed to double and it did way better than that! Little overachiever already! Holy crap I think I’m pregnant! I am also immune to rubella and my blood type is O+ – the nurse threw that info in. And she said we would be due September 25 – which is perfect! Just between E & I’s birthdays. 1 week to ultrasound!

update it’s January 28 and we had our first ultrasound this morning. There is a sac and a yolk and the us technician said she couldn’t have placed the baby better herself. It’s measuring a little earlier than 5wks 5days, which is all good and normal. Here is the first picture:

ultrasound 1

my hCG went up to 29,592 and Progesterone when down to 20, so they doubled my progesterone up as a precaution, most women don’t even have theirs pulled more than once, this place just over tests so they can see more variables… yeah-rah, now I’ll never be able to stay awake!

On a side note I have been wretchedly ill this week – I have very bad nausea and I constantly have that “sparkle” feeling in my face like I’m going to hurl. Haven’t yet, mostly because I’m too stubborn. There was a stomach thing going around at work, so it may have been a little of that too. Yesterday I had to leave work early and go home and sleep, I just couldn’t take it. Today I feel better than yesterday, but still very nauseous. I guess that is a good sign, so I’m not complaining, its just uncomfortable!

update Its Monday, February 1 and I am still nauseous… Last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were brutal… I’m guessing I had whatever stomach virus was going around. Now it’s more dizzy/nausea… more like motion sickness. This is more obvious considering as soon as I got off the train this morning I had to go throw up! I feel better after a weekend on the couch and E very nicely fetching me what I asked for… ice cream helps with the nausea. Now I’m back at work and nobody to get me stuff! πŸ™

update Its Monday, February 8 and I am still a bit nauseous… nothing like last week though. I was terribly sick all week. The nurses at the Doctors office said that when they see hCG levels jump the way mine have been, they expect to see you ill. Basically they told me to buck up! I called in sick Friday and slept. I switched to water (I had read that 7-up or clear, cold fizzy soda would make you feel better) and by Saturday I felt somewhat normal… I didn’t feel like I had something trying to rip it’s way out of my stomach anyway! It seems that any foreign object that goes in my mouth (toothbrush, finger, vitamin, food, utensil, etc) causes me to instantly wretch and gag… hmmm, that is not helpful. But, it seems to be getting a bit better, so I am keeping my fingers crossed this won’t go all the way to 14 weeks like they say on the internet! I’ve already lost around 5 lbs, I don’t think I need to loose any more!!

update Here is a postponed update from the Doctors visit last Thursday. We saw the little heart beating away – still a tiny thing, but way bigger than last week. The US tech said we’ll really be able to see it this coming week. According to the tubes, it should double in size! hCG jumped to 136,968 and doubling my prometrium supplement got my progesterone up to 25.6. They also adjusted my due date to September 27… like I’ll go on that day anyway, so I am sticking with the 25th. The original date was by the numbers, the adjusted is by the US measurements… 2 days behind is normal since they don’t know exactly when conception occurred. Here is a picture:


update Feb. 10 A & W Root beer is a god-send. My friend KB said it helped her and her sister-in-law when they were early on and feeling nauseous. After I have some I feel like a person! amazing stuff.

update Feb 24 OK, so I haven’t updated this in awhile… I have been SO tired and very ill this whole month. It’s so bad I am going on a modified work schedule starting next week – I will be off on Wednesday’s so I can try to keep myself rested. It’s really ridiculous, but by the end of the week I can barely function anymore. And at this point I go to bed at 8pm – no later than 8:30… so I get off the train at 6 or 6:15, eat dinner, take a shower, watch one 40 minute TV show with E and then I’m out. I feel bad, E is a pregnancy widow… he probably thinks I have World of Warcraft in the room, aside from the snoring it might be believable!! So anyway, update on the peanut. We were released to our regular OB after our last visit to Dr Miller. The ultrasound showed the baby the right size, shape and with a nice little heart just beating away. So seeing the heartbeat twice is their test to release you from their care. Today we had our first visit with RPW, who will be the primary OBs, this was just a nurses visit, they pulled 4 vials of blood and asked for some pee (which is no problem anymore) and they went over how their processes work and what to expect visit to visit. All seemed pretty straight forward. We see the regular doctor for the first time on March 1 and she’ll go over all the lab results with us then.

I am excited, I’d rather just post this now and get it over with… but we are going to wait till the 12 week mark. That is when I stop taking the prometrium. After a week of no meds and still pregnant (and hopefully not sick anymore) then I will feel better to shout about it. πŸ™‚

update OK – posting this saga this weekend. I am now 14 weeks! I haven’t thrown up in about 2 weeks and the nausea has gradually tapered off. Now it is just the occasional evening, but mostly I can eat anytime now, I still have trouble with pills, but at least solid foods are my friend again! We went to the doctor on Monday. I am still below my start weight so they told me to gain weight (like I have any choice!) I think I ended up loosing at least 10 lbs to the constant puking. The Doctor had no problem at all finding Frank (I call him/her Frankenstein because ‘its alive!’) and it’s just easier than saying it or baby mueller or whatever – we aren’t going to name him Frank if he’s a boy – I believe that may instigate a war with the sovereign nation of Frankovia (ha ha – inside joke). There are also various nicknames of Peanut and Lucky… We won the swag raffle at the doctors office and got a bunch of formula-related stuff which I’ll probably donate, but you never know… Several American Pediatric Society books too – so a good haul. Back to my original point… the doctor found baby Frank’s heartbeat right away – he was sitting right in the center of the belly cranking away at a solid 144 bpm (average is between 120 and 160). So Doc said ‘great – we’ll see you in 4 weeks’. πŸ™‚

Dec 17

brief girl-parts update

Posted by Mrs. M

So we managed to change our insurance at work. Apparently United Healthcare does not cover any sort of assistance for fertility troubles. They will cover some of the diagnostic tests or surgeries, but as I’ll probably end up needing some sort of hormonal intervention that would be drugs. So, just to be a giant pain in the ass, we had to switch to Blue Cross HMO. All of our doctors are in the group, so we don’t have to make any changes, and the HMO covers up to 3 cycles of IVF, not that I am that interested in IVF, but apparently that generic term covers all sorts of stuff. But, of course, you can only change your insurance once a year and that was back in November. The new insurance isn’t active until January 1. So this poses an interesting paper-work challenge in that because it’s an HMO, you can’t refer yourself out, you have to have your primary doctor write you a referral to a specialist. Well, due to all the paperwork and such my primary doctors office can’t process that referral until the insurance is active, Jan 4. Now the new doctor can’t make an appointment with me until I get a referal so they can process my new HMO insurance thru a group of oversight for infertility treatment. are you confused yet? ‘Cause I am!! anyway – the girl at my current docs office is being really nice and promises to process this right away on Jan 4 (not that she won’t be getting a call from me verifying that anyway). And by agreeing to pay the first visit amount in cash, I was able to schedule an appointment with the new doctor – Charles E Miller – for January 9. We may or may not have to pay in cash… depending on how fast our referral is processed through the new system. We’ll see… 5 days is awfully short for healthcare anything.

Anyway, I’m glad we dumped the old insurance because in my opinion it was pretty crappy – I swear everytime I had an ultra-sound it cost us about $1,000 and everytime they draw blood it costs $140 – so to the tune of over $12K they reamed us in 2009. It is my opinion that because of the diagnostic coding on the billing is why we had to pay so much. Seems like they’ll pay if you get pregnant, but not to tell you you are not pregnant (or possibly need surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy) Guess all you right wingers call that an abortion and therefore insurance doesn’t pay it? who knows, all I know is it sucks!

UPDATE: We got our referral and approval thru insurance to see the new Doc on Saturday – no paying cash upfront. Also after auditing our insurance bills we found that insurance didn’t pay for ANY lab work this whole year! They are supposed to cover 80%, so we’ll be getting a check for that at least… E also found a good number to contest stuff and there may be further refunds coming (not that I am counting on that too much)

Nov 19

So we failed again at this family thing. Erich stayed home with me and I thought watching a light-hearted Disney movie would cheer me up. Yeah right. We rented Up from redbox. Well the whole first segment is about these 2 kids who are childhood friends, grow up, get married and discover they cant have children. Oh that helps. Holy crap, by 20 minutes in I was waiting for them to drag poor Marley the dog out and shoot him. Jesus. Totally ruined the rest of the movie for me. And did not cheer me up either. After I get the blood work results today I am asking for a referal to an endochrinologist. Yesterday I went to the doctor in the morning at 9:15. They told me I was fine, by noon I knew it was over. I seriously do not understand what the hell is going on. My levels this time were really great – Progesterone was over 30 and hcg more than doubled over 2 days – so they stopped testing me, well at good ‘ol 5.5 weeks everything falls apart, again. Seriously, how many times can a person be expected to handle this? Also 6 months between success and failure is really wearing on me. I do not want to be one of these 40-year-olds who realize they’re pregnant and go what the hell do we do now? Maybe we should move to the Carribbean, that should fix everything.

Back on the Island of Misfit Toys

Back on the Island of Misfit Toys

Oct 15


Posted by Mrs. M

I wonder why the predominant emotion I feel when I take these ridiculous drugs is rage. I am literally sitting on my ass in a semi-dark room and I feel like I just got blind-sided or something…. I can’t even think of a good example, as I am not usually a person with rage (except in summer walking behind stupid tourists on Michigan Ave). Whatever. I woke up this morning angry, always sets the tone for a pleasant day. Now I’ll qualify that and say I had no reason to be angry, that’s just how I woke up? WTF?

Aug 31

OK, So I had my follow-up with the doctor last week. She decided that she would allow us to try Clomid to help with the baby issues. There is no obvious defect or mis-function, but sometimes Clomid helps with vague fertility problems. If this doesn’t work, she is going to refer us out to an endorchronologist. And hopefully by then we’ll be able to change our insurance to cover any of this stuff. Apparently we don’t have any level of fertility coverage, even though Illinois law mandates coverage, somehow Allstate gets around the rule. But hopefully they have a PPO, with our doctors, that includes fertility coverage. bastards. So in about 2 weeks I’ll start the clomid. I can’t freakin wait. The biggest side effect is multiples (like that would be bad) and apparently PMS x 11. great. We’ll see how chemical Stephanie does.

On a completely separate note. For my birthday, and to get away from work (which has been nuts lately), and all these hormonal, emotional issues. We are going to Mexico for a brief vacation! Labor Day – Thursday. Just down to Cancun, shockingly it was cheaper to do all-inclusive Cancun than to go someplace closer like Carolina or Florida. darn.

Jun 23

Alright. After much introspection, I’ve decided to post about E and I’s fertility issues. I am hoping that it will help me deal with the stress and get some crap off my chest, which will hopefully help us in the long run. If this is too much info for you, don’t read the “girl parts” posts.

Yes, we are trying to have a baby. We have been trying since January 2008 (with the counting, ovulation, etc). We have been successful on at least 2 occasions (4 if you ask me). Both successes ended ultimately in failure. The first was last December and ended at 6 weeks with “normal” early miscarriage. The second was just this last April and ended at 5.5 weeks with a “probable ectopic pregnancy“. Since it was so early, it wasn’t possible for the doctor to say with 100% accuracy that it was ectopic, but my symptoms and pain were right on target, so she thinks that’s what happened.

The full story if you are interested: We spent a Thursday night at the hospital after I had persistent, annoying pain that didn’t diminish… kind of felt like a thin bag of roofing nails rolling around in my groin on the right side… (ever squeeze a plastic bag full of nails in your hand?) not fun. But then I got really dizzy and thought I was going to throw up, and since I was sitting on the couch watching TV at the time, I thought that was odd and called the doctor. She said she really couldn’t do anything over the phone and recommended we go to the hospital. After a half hour, we did. And of course they stick you in a room and ignore you. So nice. After getting blood work then waiting 2 hours for an ultrasound there was a flurry of activity and I was told I was going to surgery. Who this person was, I don’t know. Nobody introduced themselves as a doctor, nurse or orderly (annoying). Then 5 minutes later I wasn’t going to surgery. Presumably they talked to my doctor and she settled them down. Which is good, cause I really didn’t want to have emergency surgery in the middle of the night on my fallopean tubes, ya know? So finally at around 4 they moved us upstairs to obstetrics. This is where I finally got some drugs for pain. jerks. This all started at 7pm, got really bad at 10-11 and finally got relief at 4… I suppose they were thinking they were going to anesthetize me and therefore I didn’t get any drugs. Still, not nice. The doc scheduled me for a follow-up ultrasound on Sunday, cause it was too early to see if there was a gestational sac yet, if there was there is a chance that could rupture and cause serious issues. If not then it’s not as bad. But on Sunday they either couldn’t find it or it had already moved on out of the tube. I had a natural miscarriage after that. Which is good cause the drug they give you to end ectopics sounds kinda nasty.

Back to the overall stuff. We talked to the doc in April about our issues. We got the statistics lecture and were told to give it time. ‘Only 20% will conceive any given month… Only 50% will go to term…’ bla bla bla. I allowed myself to be pacified because she said if no success by July/August to come back. I don’t consider an ectopic pregnancy success so we’re scheduling next month if we aren’t successful. She’ll not like it, but I don’t really care anymore. I want her to try me on Clomid, cause I think I have a mild or vague Luteal phase defect (what is Luteal Phase). Every month I have a vague numbness on my right side now… right around the ovary area. It’s not PCOS or anything like that. It’s vague. It didn’t seem to set any alarms with the doc (probably think I am imagining it). But since I seem to conceive fine, I just can’t get past 6 weeks, from what I’ve read, it’s a hormonal problem. And clomid will help me make a bigger, stronger, faster corpus leutem which will make better progesterone to make a baby take. So I’ve deduced from the internet. Obviously, I have no idea what the *@*# is up?!

So that is what has been happening. I am trying. I am incredibly disappointed and probably just a bit depressed, but what’s a girl to do? I am tired of being the household egg timer (two weeks, turn, two weeks – repeat). I am tired of everyone appraising me and wondering why the hell we aren’t starting a family, I am tired of everyone at work knowing all my business and I am just tired of stuggling with this crap by myself. So there you go.